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I think I might be pregnant. Just got married two months ago! Kinda hoping the tests come up positive, but it's almost borderline too early to test. I'm scared that I'm going to disappoint my husband, but I feel preggo! I'm bloated, which I never am. I'm nauseous. I'm dizzy. I'm sooooo tired all the damn time. The smell of garlic made me almost puke today. Ugh. I just feel off and crappy. We had an accident in birth control two days before i ovulated. I think I am, but I don't want to be disappointed. Ugh.


Vote for Jensen...Its the last few hours. Lets do this! Vote for the best actor in a drama!!!!! Jensen deserves this!


Hey all

Hey, so I haven't posted in a while. Promise I've been stalking though, lol. Anyway, a small update that is about personal stuff and kind of a spewing of squee and crap...

I've been dating a super guy for a while now. And he moved in a month ago. And last week we got engaged! Squee! Anyways, I'm now working full time, in nursing school full time for my RN, and now starting to plan a wedding. I'm hoping for March 7, 2015, a year from our engagement :) Anyways, I can't afford a wedding planner, so its all on me and my mom. Hoping that I can get through and make a nice event in the process and not drive anyone crazy. lol. I live in South FL, so we will see if I can figure this thing out. If anyone has any suggestions or crazy thoughts, let me know. Lol.

Sooooo freaking excited!

Jun. 27th, 2012

Does anyone need a room mate for the Dallas con? I may be getting tickets, bt I would need a rooom mate from probably thurs to mon?

Health issues....again

Ok, so I'm kinda freaking out, like in a panic attack in the back of my head, randomly breaking down into tear, like of freaking out. Let me tell you why...

A little over a year ago, I woke up in severe pain, mostly to my joints. I needed up in the ER, and was ultimately admitted, not because of the pain, but because I has a WBC (white blood cell count) of 32 (normal is 5-10). I spent four days in the hospital, saw a rheumatologist, had a ton of blood work, saw an oncologist, had more blood work, transferred hospitals, and was ultimately given the shrugging of the shoulders and no diagnosis.

I've been feeling on and off achy for the last year with no known reason. Then...

For about the last 2 plus months I have been feeling increasingly "off". Now I'm a nurse, of I know that is an awful explanation, but it's the truth. I have just been feeling more and more run down. I'm exhausted ALL the time, and I mean all the time; I wake up from 10 hours of sleep and could roll over to take a nap. This is NOT like. I'm an insomniac for gosh sake! Plus, I have been feeling increasingly weak, I canard.y lift what I could 6 months ago. And I have lost about 20lbs in the last two months without lifting a finger. Then, about three weeks ago, I got extremely dizzy, like trip over my own feet dizzy; that was the final straw.

I called my doctor, who got me in on wed June 6. She stated she was concerned because if my previous history of having odd bloodwork. So she wanted to get some bloodwork done. Six vials were take on thurs along with a urine sample.

I called for the results on mon June 11. Ended up actually getting a call back on June 12. It was not so good. My blood work and urine were completely normal...except my WBC, which is still elevated, currently at 16. I have no infection, no fever. However, the fatigue, mailase, vertigo, and weakness continues. So, my doctors is extremely concerned and made an appointment for me to see an oncologist...again. She has once again threw the concern of cancer, specifically leukemia, at me.

I have an appointment on June 21, which is only a week from when they called. I see that as great, since it is usually much longer waiting period to see a specialist. And it's the same oncologist I saw in the hospital, which means he has my previous records.

So, as you can see...flipping the hell out! Everyone tells me don't think of worst case scenario...but I'm a nurse! It's what we do! We self diagnose, and we think what to do in the worst case scenario! So, I'm reading a shit ton of fanfiction to take my mind off all this shit, watching a shit ton of Netflix, and preying. I'm going out with friends, enjoying dinner and drinks, and venting when I can.

My mom has taken the day off from work and is going with me to the appointment in case we get some bad news. I know I may walk out without a definitive diagnosis, but I am hoping to have some answers soon. According to my doctors suspicions, I have had an elevated WBC for over a year and a half, which is never a good sign. We will just have to wait and see. Work gave me the day of the appointment off, and if I need to call out the next day, they said they would understand.

Thank God I have health insurance, supportive family, friends, and coworkers. As well as short term disability insurance! Lol. Just in case of the worst case scenario I shouldn't be thinking about, lol.



Ok all, I know I haven't posted in a long, long, long...long, long time, bt I've been busy with work and figuring out my life and trying to have a social life; being 26, single and owning a cat isn't my plans for life, lol. Anyways, I havent had any time for thinking of writing or even time to attempt a plot outline for Destiny's sequel....so I'm putting out the following:

Calling any and all fan fic writers! If anyone wants to take the general plot I set up in Destiny and make it into a verse, I give my full hearted permission! All I'm asking is to be notified that you want to do a spin on it, so that I can read it, lol. So, if anyone is interested, please feel free to comment! Hopefully there wil be some takers....lol.

Valentine's Day Let Down

Ok, so I'm kinda super pissed right now, and beating on myself. So here's the deal...

I've been seeing the new guy, only for a month or so, but we hit it off. Anyway, our work schedules are kinda insane, with me working 3p-12a, and him working all sorts of hours, usually through the night (he's a resident director at a half way house and he lives where he works). Anyway, our first date was lunch, nice. Food sucked, but the conversation was good. I didn't hear from him for three days, then when he finally texted me, he said it was bc his minutes had run out for his phone. Ok, I get that. So we started talking again. Second date was at his place, he had wine and movies. Nice and relaxed for a late night date. BUT then he wouldn't let me go home bc we had finished two bottles of wine and I live 30 min away. Nice right? Except then he tells me I have to share his bed. WHAT?! Its only the second date. Luckily nothing happens except some kissing, which is ok, right? Third date I thought would be a repeat of the second, head to his house at 9:30p, spend the night, leave early in the am. NOPE. I planned it for a night when I had off to spend time with him, but then get a text saying that I could come over at 11:30PM! Oh, and I had to leave by 6am. WTF?! So, I conceded and went over. Of course I get there tired, and we go to bed, where he whines like a little girl about wanting to have sex. I gave in again (obviously I have no will power), and he kicked me out at 5:30am. Then what happens? I don't hear from him for TWO days! I totally feel like a random hook up, rather than a girlfriend. So, I think, maybe he will do something on valentines. I texted him today, and he says he lost his phone, he dropped it in the ocean. I don't know what to believe. Anyway, I was leaving work tonight and all of a sudden, he was calling me sweet heart and asking me to be his valentine...at 11:43pm! I texted him back and said, "sure, for the next 17 min". He said "no, for the next 24 hrs". I said "no, Valentines day was today". How the fuck can someone not realize its Valentines? It all over facebook what loved one are doing for each other! Its all over TV and the news! I just don't get it. I'm supposed to be this guys girlfriend and he makes me feel like an unwanted whore! I dunno why I'm so disapointed, I've never gotten anything for Valentines day, so why should I be upset now? I'm 26, and I want a serious relationship, to get married and have a family. Maybe its me? Maybe I expect too much? I'm always disapointed. I feel like I need to go have a good cry. Well, I hope you all had a better Valentines day. Cause mine? HUGE LET DOWN!



Ok, so at work today, I got called a douchbag, a "big fat ugly bigot" and I got groped. All by patients of mine. Great night at work? I think not...grrrrr.


So, I sent in my duck! I thinks it's appropriate. I sent in a zombie duck. It even glows in the dark! Lol.


Is anyone else having issues with LJ today? I can get it on my phone, but not my computer! It keeps saying the server is too busy! WTF?! Grrrr.